Gratitude

"I see myself as everything. I love myself as everyone"

I have a lot to be grateful for. I have loving parents who want the best for me. I have friends who give me joy each and every day. I am working in a professional that suits and challenges me. I live an a comfortable home that is safe and quite.

I want to reside in a place of gratitude. I need to stop and smell the roses more. I have been focusing on an achy body so much lately that it has taken too much space in my brain. I have been moody because I am not working out as much, and I have too much antsy-ness to deal with.

Paramahansa Yogananda, a revered spiritual leader from India once said, "at best, the body is a nest of troubles". I think he is trying to say, you have to rise about pain and discomfort. There has to be joy from a deeper source.

I am leaving for Santa Barbara, CA tomorrow for a wonderful work trip. I have the opportunity to work with a very talented Ayurvedic Bodyworker, (who also works for my company), and train the massage therapists at the Barcara Resort and Spa. We are training on two massage modalities that unblock energy and relive pain and tension in the body.

I am grateful.

Happy Halloween!

Life in the Slow Lane...

So as I blogged last time, I am working with some feet issues. And I have to say after tracing back my first foot injury to today, it really has been a long, often painful journey. But, I am feeling more confident with new approaches and learning to take life in the slow lane.
I have gone from riding my bikes four-five times a week averaging about 200-250 miles during my heaviest training weeks, to riding three times this month for a total of 82 miles. And I haven't been on my bike in two weeks. Running is out of the question for another few months, and walking could hasten my recovery.
I have come to the realization that I was forcing my body to do what my mind and spirit wanted. And that was often too much for my body to handle. Now some could say that my training was not all that much, because it was mainly riding and swimming for the past four months. But, I had a stress fracture one one foot that caused plantar fasciitis to develop, (since I continued to beat on my foot running), and a Morton's Neuroma (trapped nerves) on my other foot b/c of the compensation from the stress fracture and so much biking. So training at that level was too much in my case.
I have also come to the realization that we don't stop until there is a trauma or event that forces us too. When our bodies feel good, we get used to not listening, mostly because there is nothing screaming at us. But when working to build thresholds we train harder and force by the inherent nature of that training. In turn, weaker areas start to breakdown, stronger areas grow and injuries can occur because of the created imbalances. So in our typical fashion we begin to tune out those body signals we don't want to hear until we are forced to listen. Obviously I was not listening.
So my new "life in the slow lane" approach is reading, studying, spending time with friends, some swimming and daily yoga and mediation. I like this feeling of slowing down. I like reconnecting with my breath that I was always chasing down when I was competing in triathlons and training hard. I do think that balance is a great thing to strive for, and I will be ready to jump back on my bike and lace up my running shoes again. But for now, I am moving slow and re-establishing my inner peace.
BTW I discovered a awesome new toy...the Yamuna Foot Wakers. If you want to improve the function of your feet and awaken all the muscles that hold us up every day try this out! Get it with the video so you have a tutorial. And I forewarn you...it hurts! But you will be thankful when you start to correct any misalignments occurring that could potentially lead you down the road I am traveling on now.
Until next time I am working on cultivating and practicing Ahimsa, (Sanskrit word for nonviolence towards self and others).
Peace, health and happiness.

Morton's Neuroma

OK....so I had this pebble feeling in my left foot about a year ago each time I went out for a run. I started to wonder what in the heck was going on. Then it turned to a burning, stabbing sensation when I was riding my bike. After seeing my podiatrist and doing an MRI it was diagnosed as a Morton's Neuroma. The journey of the past five months goes like this....orthotics...cortisone shot for neuroma....other foot begins hurting....second cortisone shot for neuroma....take out my orthotics in case they were the cause of my other foot hurting.....twelve sessions with two different PT's for both feet....third cortisone shot yesterday for neuroma......surgery scheduled next Tuesday.....MRI scheduled for other foot tomorrow.

In the past two years I really started training hard for triathlons. I have identified myself as a triathlete. I am a triathlete. Now I am seriously contemplating this identity. Maybe I am not meant to push myself so hard. Maybe doing my daily exercise is good enough. I used to be a yogini. I used to be a yoga teacher and student first. Now that is second. Maybe yoga is a better path for my mind and body. But I don't like having no choice in the matter! My ideal workout week would be yoga x2 riding x3, swimming x2 and running x2. Yes that might sound like a lot, but I have always done a lot. I used to be in yoga class eight-ten classes a week before I moved to Arizona and found triathlons.

So I have been contemplating pulling out of the races I have signed up for over the next ten months. If I get this surgery, my Podiatrist said I can be back to the activities I love in 4-6 weeks. I have to make my decision my Friday.

I had so many plans to fundraise for the cancer my mother passed away from through all of my races this year. Maybe this is just a slight set back, and I can get to the fundraising after the Nov. half marathon I will not be racing in. I hope so. Actually, I really hope this third cortisone does the trick, and the MRI comes back with just some random inflammation.

I will keep you posted!